You are deserving of unconditional love and protection.
Children growing up in dysfunctional family dynamics may not have gotten that, which may shape how they see themselves or others into adulthood. Let’s unpack the unresolved pain that came from living through chaos and learning how to manage the emotions that come.
Do you struggle with asserting your needs because you spent your entire childhood taking care of the adults?
Have you developed heightened empathy and sensitivity towards others because you were the emotional caretaker for your parents or the adults in your life?
Are you extremely responsible and had to grow up faster than your peers?
Do you hate the unknown or unexpected because you lived in fear of what would happen if you didn’t prepare enough?
Were you a child of immigrant parents and felt pressured to have things figured out?
Do you often seek approval from others because growing up you did not feel like existing was good enough for your family?
Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity because they told you how to be and present to others?
Do you struggle with setting boundaries?
Do you strive to be “perfect” to get noticed by your parents and seek approval for the accomplishments you’ve done?
Do you find yourself overextending yourself that becomes detrimental to your mental health?
Are you scared your romantic partner or friends will leave because you did not have a secured attachment with your parental figure?
Do you feel anxiety when others are upset with you?
Do you struggle with expressing your emotions out of fear?
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your emotions and shut down because you weren’t allowed to be upset?
Do you dread traditional family structures such as holidays centered of family gatherings, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays?
Growing up as the emotional anchor for your parents and the grown-ups in your life, you've developed this incredible knack for understanding and caring about others. It wasn't just a choice; it was something you had to do. You've become really good at picking up on people's feelings and needs. Offering a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on has become second nature, even if it sometimes means putting your own emotions on the back burner.
Responsibility has been your constant companion since you were little. While your friends were enjoying the carefree days of childhood, you were busy navigating the grown-up world. The weight of responsibilities left little room for childhood's carefree joy, and that sense of duty has stayed with you into adulthood.
The fear of the unknown and unexpected has always been a bit of a challenge, rooted in your upbringing where being prepared was the name of the game. You've spent a lot of time worrying about what might go wrong if you didn't plan every detail just right. As a result, spontaneity and surprises can sometimes make you feel a bit uneasy.
If you are a child of immigrant parents, there's been a ton of pressure to have everything in your life sorted out. The expectations were sky-high, and there wasn't much room for error. This pressure to excel and have a clearly defined path has had a big impact on how you see yourself and how determined you are to succeed.
Growing up, you often felt like just being yourself wasn't enough for your family. Seeking approval from others became a way to make up for this lingering feeling of not measuring up. It's been a lifelong mission to prove your worth and find significance in the eyes of those who raised you, looking for validation outside your family circle.
Your identity has been shaped significantly by your family's expectations and demands. They told you not just who you should be, but also how you should present yourself to the world. Finding your own voice and identity is an ongoing, sometimes challenging journey.
Setting boundaries has always been a bit of a struggle. You've consistently put others' needs ahead of your own, sometimes at the cost of your well-being. Finding that balance between self-care and accommodating others is a journey that continues.
Striving for perfection became your way of trying to get your parents' approval. Their validation often seemed just out of reach, which turned your pursuit of excellence into an ongoing quest to earn their praise.
Overextending yourself has become a bit of a habit, and it's taking a toll on your mental well-being. The need to be indispensable to others often leaves you feeling drained and overwhelmed, but it's a tough cycle to break.
Insecure attachment with your parental figure has left you with a constant fear of being left in your romantic relationships and friendships. The past's scars are still affecting your ability to trust and connect with others.
Anxiety can creep in when others express disappointment or anger toward you. You've learned to avoid conflicts and keep the peace from your upbringing, which can make it hard to deal with difficult conversations and confrontations.
Expressing your emotions has always been a bit tricky, rooted in your fear of being vulnerable. You've learned to keep your feelings under wraps, which can make opening up to others a daunting task, sometimes leaving you feeling emotionally isolated.
Feeling overwhelmed by your emotions can lead to you shutting down as a coping mechanism, a strategy from your early years when expressing distress wasn't encouraged.
Traditional family gatherings and events, like holidays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and birthdays, can be bittersweet. They often serve as reminders of family tensions and unresolved issues that continue to cast a shadow over what should be joyful and celebratory moments.
Healing from these relational traumas can free you from the weight you’ve carried for so long. Let’s walk towards the path of relief from this burden. You will not be neglected or criticize for existing as you are.
You may find yourself reflecting on the painful memories of what your childhood was like. It’s almost easier to forget they exist than to relive them again. You may wonder what’s the point of thinking about it. You probably are feeling like you “should move on by now.” Yet, it still bothers you and you hate that it does.
Join me in therapy to heal these pains so you can live the life YOU want. It’s so rewarding to watch clients heal from the trauma they faced during childhood and grow stronger in the relationship they have with themselves.